You Know You're a Graphic Designer When...

You have bags under your eyes so big you’d have to check them in at Heathrow Airport

You can spot bad typography from 100 yds away

You are pro-facebook because 95% of the myspace accounts burn your retinas

You are completely immune to subliminal advertising

You look upon a well-designed project with either:
sympathy OR extreme jealousy

Your hand is permanently stuck in the shape of a mouse

You tell stories of exacto-knife inflicted wounds with grizzled sort of pride

You practically take caffeine intravenously

You have an appreciation for everything unique.

You’ve been spending three days non-stop on a project and it still looks like shit. You find yourself overcome by Deathlust.

You find your pulse increase at the sight of a lovely ligature, glasses steam up when an unusually elegant arm, leg, or tail comes in view, and a well-kerned paragraph is apt to make you break into a sweat with excitement.

You buy a CD or DVD for the artwork, even if you have no idea what the actual music or film is like (even worse, you don’t actually watch or listen to it, just stare at it for hours and hug it in adoration).

You look at the clock and see it’s about midnight and think ‘I’ll go to bed now’… and you actually go to bed about 2-3am.

You need someone else to point out that you’re sitting in a room in front of the computer with all the lights off, and haven’t noticed.

You don’t wear black to look cool, you wear it to hide the gauche.

You have a thing for chairs. You don’t know why.

You’re in the sun and you look around for a Drop Shadow to sit under.

You give your relatives a lecture about color spaces and profiles when you email them your vacation photos.

Seeing someone use Lens Flare or Comic Sans adversely affects your blood-pressure

You maintain a grid system for your refrigerator magnets.

You sit at work for eight hours straight just looking at your monitor, waiting for a spark of inspiration that doesn’t come.

You’re up ’til 5am because you came up with the best idea ever while brushing your teeth.

The hottest dream you ever had was “Trace contour… Find Edges… Pinch… Extrude… Smudge Stick… Motion Blur…. Sprayed Strokes…”

You know Lorem Ipsum by heart.

Activating your entire font collection makes your computer crash

You prefer a Layer Style of 50% Opacity (or less) on your wife’s Satin.

You spend $200 on a font for your personal website because “it’s the only one where the lower-case g is just right…”

Apple+Z is the first thing that goes through your mind if you drop and break something.

You know that rivers are more than just water.

Your best friends are all employees at the local print shop

The only people who seem to know what you do for a living are other Graphic Designers (ex: Graphic Design? What’s that? You’ll never be able to make a living being an
artist!)

Kerning and leading on your shopping list actually matters to you, and you don’t see a problem with that.

Several South American economies suffer noticeably any time you try to give up coffee, or even cut your consumption of it by half.

You know that “bleeding” doesn’t hurt.

When your significant other/ friends have threatened to never speak to you again if you point out one more font to them.

When you know the difference between fuchsia, magenta, and maroon.

If you could go back in time you wouldn’t go back to see the rise and fall of civilizations, you’d go back in time to destroy comic sans and papyrus.

You Know You’re a Graphic Designer When deciding on the right crop doesn’t involve a choice between corn or wheat.

You've almost rear-ended the car in front of you because you were analyzing a font on a billboard.

You can use keyboard shortcuts at light speed, blindfolded, but you can't type a paragraph of text without staring at the keyboard.

You've had "Software Nightmares," when you've been working way too much.

You consider meals interruptions.

You've learned your lesson and stopped using the word "final" in any file name when saving.

You clean your keyboard more often than you wash your car.

You've intentionally given up trying to explain your projects to non-designers.

You see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.

You'd rather organize your desktop than your sock drawer.

When you look at Album art all you see are grunge Photoshop Brushes. (Then you see the album art a couple minutes later)

You've Photoshopped out a watermark for a comp or mock-up.

You've totally slaughtered a great design concept because the client thinks he/she knows best. (everyone thinks they are a designer)

The amount of words you've written with a sharpie labeling burned discs total more than the amount of words you've read in novels.

You've had to explain to a client that a layered file wasn't part of the deal.

You've kept a ragged concert ticket just so you could scan it.

You've nicknamed the OSX spinning wheel (and not affectionately).

You bookmark a resource more often than you have a fun night out on the town.

You've intentionally overbid a project because you can sniff out a bad client from a mile away.

You can't go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.

You have an amazingly huge font collection, and an amazingly short temper.

If you had a penny for every mouse click, you would have been a trillionaire 3 years ago.

You have removed the arrows and cleaned up the fonts on a forwarded mail before forwarding on (as I have just done!).

You can understand everything on this list.