Murphy's Graphic Design Laws

• Your fonts will default to the worst possible font available on the machine you are showing your work on.
• The less time you have the more useless your computer will become.
• If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer.
• Promises made by the salesperson never make it to the pressroom.
• The salesperson will promise anything.
• If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
• Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two.
• If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.
• Spell checkers don't.
  
• Grammar checkers don't, either.
• Global search-and-replaces aren't.
• Proof raeders are useless.
• The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
• Optical Character Recognition is good comedy.
• If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen.
• If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
• If you ask for more copy it will be sent as a Jpeg. If you ask for images they will send powerpoint presentations.
• Clients don't have their company logo in a usable print ready format so don't bother asking.
• There is no stock photo ever made that matches the image you have in your head
• Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
• The best designs never survive contact with the client.
• You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.
• Time allowed to complete work is inversely proportional to time taken by client to work out what to complain about
• Your best idea is already copyrighted.
• Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
• Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a copy of Publisher is a graphic designer
• No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
• The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two
• The client's disk won't run on your equipment
• If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
• Your client won't "get it."
• Computer crashes always happen exactly 30 seconds before saving.
• A client who knows exactly what he wants is worse than one that has no idea.
• A single picture tells more than a thousand words. Any technical picture has more than thousand bugs
• Everything has to be done immediately, deadlines are incredibly important unless client has to provide materials or approve your work
• The customer is always right & an idiot.

There are at least 5 things you could think to add to this list if only you had more time.